merry next year

Trish went off to work Friday, like clockwork without the orange. I was at the Layout, where everyone ignored me while Lisa fixed lasagna. While it is good to have someone other than Cheri there, I don't appreciate people who monopolize staff or don't have the ability to discuss anything that requires more than a grade school education -- which admittedly includes Trish, but I'm sick of the "typewriter is part of his illness" I've been getting since I first sailed a Bobo Boat.

So around 11:00 the Mighty Insect Slayer returned -- they'd given her Friday off; Becky gave her a ride home. We ate a late lunch -- cuzza that client who wouldn't stop talking -- & then rented Dude, Where's My Car?, which Trish has been dying to see ever since we caught the ending on TV -- & The Spy Who Shagged Me, which is OK, Mr. Mojo Risin'.

Today I let Trish sleep in, then play Penguins for an hour while I talked with Wako thru the wire. We ate lunch at El Taco Loco & she cleaned the basement until just now, & wants to watch a movie.

Haircut 100

Yet another check arrived in the mail the other day. First Jerome sent some buckadingdongs, then Fearless Taco's check arrived.

Car-girl gave Trish a ride to work yesterday morning, even though it was O'listless. When she left I watched the remaining tracks on the Peter Gabriel video we'd been watching, then trucked over to the bank to cash John's belated X-mas gift. I tried the bank on the corner, but they sent me to Waste Fargo, & then I went to the barbershop around the corner for a haircut.

I ate lunch at El Taco Loco, then came home to find Ted's latest re-make/re-model of tachyon-critters. When I tried to download the file, it became corrupted, though, so I wrote Ted a note asking him to resend. I tried again, but MS-Word crashed, so I rebooted. This time, I got it. I edited a chunk of it, then ran MS-Antispyware until Fred came over. We whipped out the guitar -- whip it good -- & played around with Peace Frog. Trish called around 3:00 so we turned off the machine & went out to Pizza Hut to pick her up.

When we arrived home Trish ate her personal pan pizza, then showered. She played Penguins for awhile, while I washed dishes.

Jeffer Auss came over in the evening, along with a movie he'd picked up at Creative Leisure. It was a thriller about an FBI training mission that went awry, with a serial killer amidst these profilers, on an abandoned island to learn their craft.

I'm not certain if I'm going to the Perky Pam Layout along with Trish today or not. On the one hand, there's the need to socialize -- a need that's hard to fill there as the clients do not understand either me or my goals -- but on the other hand I'm in a place where I cannot be rejected for stigma. Also, I hate arguing with Cheri, though Lisa is cool. Mostly, I'm concerned with finding time to work on TC, but I'd rather take my time & do it right than rush thru it &, at the very least, have a lot of scientific improbabilities about it that Stan would reject it over. The main problem with the Layout is that once Trish leaves, there's nothing to do other than listen to Noncorean screaming, "Magoo!".

Tuesday night we went to Trish's office party at the Eagle's. Drinks were cheap, a buckadingdong for a diet pop, & everyone exchanged presents. With all the caffiene in my system, though, I had to take an extra sleeping pill. Let's hope no bozo from the Science of Church-a-tology picks up on this page & decides I'm living proof they're right about "psychiatry", & piss on Tom Cruise. If they could see the difference "psychiatry" made in Trish, they'd immediately pull their heads out of their asses & relent their silly superstitions. Scientology is an evil, wicked religion & a total fraud. Piss on the whole lot of them. I'm taking my pills, no matter what they or the Scooby Club may have to say about it.

& all the presents are insane

...lost in a moment-- so X-mas day we sat around all day & listened to the new CDs Dan sent with the disc player set to random, fresh batteries in the remote to make the machine clickable. Trish played Penguins a couple times. Ted called while we were down in the basement fiddling with the crock pot. We used the left-over broth for soup & had peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. John called & we discussed anti-spyware technology, as I have a weird problem with my computer: the Norton keeps shutting off while I boot up, then all of a sudden switching back on. After that Trish played more Penguins. She took a nap while Ted & I discussed tachyon-critters; he called back around 2:00. Hopefully, we'll have an Analog-y story here.

We had leftovers for supper. We called Rosemary about 5:00, & I talked to all my in-laws. I think I may have started to finally impress them -- & Sister Mary Demon -- that I can write. We watched Groundhog Day on cable, as well as the Simpsons & Family Guy. Then I took all my meds & we snuggled with Generic Bear & Softy Bear. The new bear is A-roobie-doobie-doobie Bear.

This morning I woke up around 6:00. Trish took her Synthroid & Naproxen, then went back to bed while I surfed the darkened seas.

hours before the winter sun's ignited...

...I believe in dreams -- & Trish had a good one last night: Jessica Alba interviewed me, to promote my book, The Mind-Warp Era (by pen name W.C. Leadbeater), which has had all references to the batmobile expunged, but you can still know fear & loathing in the batmobile, Dick Payola to the contrary: www.onewest.net/~jbauer/batmans.car

Thursday seems like a dream to me now. I remember that we ate at the Layout, but forget what we had. Friday it was sketti. X-mas Eve we opened our presents early, including a couple cards in the mail: Trish & I got 50 Friendlies from her mom & she got 20 from her aunt. She ran over to the grocery store & bought some food (see what Risperdal does, Iron Steele?). We tried to start Trish's car, but the battery's dead.

Then Kimothy stopped by when we started to go thru the cheese & crackers Trish's dad had sent us. Kim gave us a card, but like Tom Moran wants to shoot the Orgasm-death, like Willy the Crystal. We ate our feast around 5:00, but concluded that we should put the carrots back in the crock pot for an hour.

We'd planned on going to Church at 7:00, but I couldn't stay awake so Trish & I went to bed early, along with A-roobie-doobie-doobie Bear, which was Trish-uh!'s gift. When we awoke in the middle of the night to use the toilet I had to take another sleeping pill, but am now awake & willing to spend my daze with Trish, artane (the Wayne Zymore drug) to the contrary.

can't sleep cuz my bed's on fire

"Cuz" reminds me, that Sasquatch girl of my acquaintance from my Wayne Zymore days complained about it, which she doesn't even have a college education & didn't spot it as deliberate -- her job was as a chemical dependency counselor out at the Invisible Reservation until she fell off the wagon. They would've given her her job back if she sobered up & attended the Scooby Club, something I don't really miss, Jeffer or otherwise.

But, "cuz" aside, the allusion to the Toking Heads should be obvious, & though my bed isn't literally on fire, I'm a real live wire. After 2 days with some kind of bug, going to bed early & actually sleeping until 7:00 cuzza 3 temazapam, last nite I only took 2 & woke up at 4:20 this morning; wish I had some. When the marijuana is in the smoke & the smoke is in my lungs I'm better off than dead.

So yesterday Car-girl & I mailed all our X-mas packages. We crammed a bunch of things into envelopes as well as a couple shoe boxes. All in all, it came out to 22 buckadingdongs for the whole mess.

After we were done at the PO we went to Pizza Hut, where Car-girl ordered some hot wings & split them with me; I didn't have lunch besides a peanut butter sandwich cuzza my tooth, which is still aching. We sat around drinking diet Pepsi until Trish got off work. Car-girl had to go pick someone up, so she came back once Trish finished her personal pan pizza.

After we cruised Dawn's Highway for home Trish showered, following which we watched the Fantastic 4 again, before returning it to Albertson's. I called John to let him know we'd mailed the tapes, though I guess John-George hasn't acquired a taste for comix yet -- I asked if he'd seen the movie. Biggie boycotts consumerism & Fearless Taco simply boycotts entertainment.

We ate baked chicken from when it was on sale, taters & carnie. Then we watched Alias Smith & Jones on the Western channel while I babbled with Wako for 1/2 an hour.

& so it goes.

(R U really still not sure I'm actually Curt Vague-&-Nuts?)

before X-mas you came to me, loneliest of all

It's less than a week until X-mas (5 days, actually), & we were going to mail our X-mas presents today -- until Car-girl took off in her car & forgot to call cuzza the Dopamax. (I assume.) Since the weather is supposed to warm up again, I may simply make a run for the post office, as Trish has all her gifts in one box & I have to mail 2 books & Dan's CD that went forgotten last year -- I've got a silver machine.

We're planning to have a roast beast for the holidays, & have Trish cook it in her crock pot. This'll make her feel like she's helping with the cooking.

Today, we're probably going to the Layout, before Friendly Fred picks her up in a silver machine for McPizza (well, actually, they're across the street from each other.) We need to take some money out of the bank for the water bill & the holidays, including postage -- I lack a box for John's present; gifts of Mother's tapes -- & for food. We're having chicken tonight, from when it was on special at Fat Albert's Sons.

Last night we watched the Fantastic Four on DVD which we rented from Albertson's. It's due at 9:00 tonight, so maybe I can get Jeffer Auss over tonight, instead of Wednesday.

Trish gets another 4 day weekend this holiday season. This means getting up in the morning to work on QA, as it's impossible to work when she's upstairs. The main thing I learned from Critters is that the background -- what are Friendlies, &c -- needs to be worked in earlier, in linear order, so the reader doesn't get lost in future-speak. Also, some people had trouble with Crystal emailing Philip K. Fantasy, even though in the previous scene, she's just washed down 4 hits of acid with vodka. This does tend to lead to strange behavior. Anyway, since I sent my pitch for The Chemical Marriage to Platinum Studios yesterday, until I hear the (inevitable bad) news from them, I'm working on QA, in order to submit it to Jim Baen's Universe, followed by tachyon-critters. I suppose I'll have to ask Ted to feed me another chunk, unless I can do something over the holidays.

dentist the mentalist, part 2

Wednesday was my appointment with the dentist in Malt-o-meal; nobodaddy in the city of Invisible accepts Medicaid anymore. Car-girl drove up around 10:00, along with her friend Jeremy, who is hardly Otis. We cruised at high velocity along Dawn's Highway while Jeremy slept in the back seat. Dentist the Mentalist found nothing wrong with my teeth & recommended Sensodyne; at least I got some free samples. We ate at the coffee shop across the street -- I had a smothered burrito as part of the special. Then Jeremy wanted to see the Radio Shaft as the one here is giving him it (the Shaft).

Trish & I both arrived home about the same time, & I invited Jeffer Auss over. Suppertime I fixed us stir fry, then as I was about to take a bath Jeffer called & I had to back out; we had 8:15 appointments with Dr. Locoweed.

Suzette raised Trish's artane & didn't understand why I let some bozo on Critters rankle me, but being insulted over a story does tend to irritate me. "Find someone sufficiently anal to check your punctuation", my ass! It's just like the bozo who wrote in Wednesday morning trying to tell me to "research" schizophrenia, when all he knew about it was from a rather inept use of a search engine.

I wasn't able to write today, except for this little piece of wrighting, but am still optimistic about the Chemical Marriage, not to mention QA, in spite of that one bozo. In a previous draft it merited a personal slip from Stan Schmidt, so why should I listen to this guy? I want to re-make/re-model it & send it in to Jim Baen's Universe, as they just said I'm "on the right track", & definitely pay well.

the Lion which the Man eats

"Blessed is the Lion which the Man eats, & the Lion will become Man; & cursed is the Man which the Lion eats, & the Lion will become Man". So even if Jesus said this stuff, it didn't make it into Narnia; indeed, the allegory surprised me by the way it moved me, in spite of the fact that I'm more concerned with the Man which the Lion eats than watching the Lion live again. I mean, really, when I watched Aslan return to life, I was practically moved to tears, in spite of which the special effects were poor, especially in this age of Hobbits.

The pizza we ate afterwards tasted delicious. After the movie, we went out to Pizza Hut, where Trish used her employee discount for the first time. Judy in disguise (with diamonds) brought us our water -- I didn't want to guzzle soda & have insomnia -- & then we ordered 1/2 veggie, 1/2 Hawaiian. We discussed the movie some, & Trish finally saw the allegory once we pointed it out to her. Finally -- as we all had such a good time -- Trish breached the subject of Ed's father's stroke. Apparently the Invisible Hospital has been able to treat him well, & with physical therapy he should regain a certain amount of motility in a while.

When we returned home Keith had left a message on the answering machine. When I called Bonnie picked up the phone. Keith was watching Bonanza. He's terribly into westerns, but buys them on DVD as he doesn't have cable. We use our own cable quite a bit for the music channels.

What to write next is the big question for me right now. I pulled out my Invisible Hog yesterday -- Wimsatt sounded audibly disappointed by the project, even though it's super-keen, the way the Hog can take corners at 150 m.p.h.. I called Ted about the tachyon-critter stuff, & we developed some ideas, but nothing in my inbox this morning. I have to develop the pitch for my alchemical piece today, & am on the verge of selling the idea, at least "that Leonardo guy" (as Trish puts it) "LOVES" (emphasis his) the idea of updating my chemical philosophy. This all goes back to the time of the Great Fludd, when people didn't know better than to believe in "intelligent design". Yes, there is evidence of "thought" in adaptation, but this is because the Universe thinks itself into existence. I am thankful, though, that this particular subject didn't arise at Pizza Hut.

Today, I'm going to the PPL with Trish. It's supposed to be warm out, so she's walking.

Debbie Does Jim-Bob

I finally had the opportunity of chatting with Debbie on Yahoo IM yesterday -- turns out, she started to demand money. She claims she's stuck in Africa until she pays her hotel bill. Sounds like a scam to me. In any case, we have a 154 buckadingdong plumbing bill, & just paid property taxes & house insurance -- we had to take a bunch of buckadingdongs out of the bank Friday, & give some to Karen for the plumbing & cable bills.

Karen took us out to the Gallery for brecchie, which we missed the special by 15 minutes; got pancakes & sausage instead. Then my Bumblebee Girl went to work, & even though she had a Car-girl ride lined up, she could've walked home: the 25 below stuff jumped 50 degrees when a chinook blew in. While she was gone I watched Barb Wire. I'm trying to come up with a Bad Grrl Comic for Platinum Studios, & wanted to see how others have handled the medium. Hence last nite I taped Painkiller Jane.

Saturday Trish relaxed all morning, drinking her coffee & watching TV. We ate at the soup kitchen, then went over to Fat Alertson's to pick up some pop & canned fruit, as well as some pads for Trish. Once she started to clean the living room, she went real gung-ho & did the entire thing. I talked with Jim Dolph for awhile on the phone as Trish worked. After that, she wanted to see her Britney Spears DVD. I made stir fry for supper, then we watched the secret origin of Miami Vice on TV-Land.

I woke up before 5:00 again this morning. Today we're going with Ed & Denise to see Narnia & to Pizza Hut afterwareds, as Trish gets 25% off a large pizza. We might as well put up with the sermon, just like the soup kitchen. Denise is devout, but not very sophisticated theologically or philosophically, whereas Ed simply quotes Shakespeare -- "there are more things in this world than are dreamed of in your philosophy, Horatio" -- or else babbles about intelligent design. Wanting to believe something is real does not make it real, just as next to nothing in the Bible is literally true. For every instance of "intelligent design" you can come up with there's an equal & opposite example of "stupid design", nor does "intelligent design" prove the existence of God: the creator could be a created being, so it's a reductio ad absurdum. The one thing I'm really waiting for is the lion which the man eats, & the lion will become man.

The crits on QA are starting to come in, & some bozo complained s/he'd "read it before". I feel like insulting the clown. People submit rewrites all the time, & s/he's complaining about it is a waste of my time & hers. I hope we get some more insightful reviews, so I can start submitting the story. Ted hasn't done anything with the tachyon-critter idea & I'm all tapped out on it, though some of the research has been interesting. I think I'll go work on my Hog.

Debbie Does Invisible

So yeah, someone really wants to meet me, & that'd be great -- but I'm happily married & am a little leery of relationships like Kimothy -- but her name is Debbie, & she's so cute, if I didn't wouldn't I would. I met her on www.hotornot.com where you can post a pic for public rating, & with my rating (4.7) I'm surprised there's actually anything in my double-match list. Whatever. I could certainly use another pen pal besides Hope. She's a nice girly-girl without the Noncorean boy-chick qualities sometimes associated with feminism.

Yesterday, Trish had to have some fasting bloodwork done at the Clinic. We'd made arrangements with the Invisible Taxi to pick her up at 9:00; then Dr. Sweet Nikki called & delayed the appointment, so we drank our coffee -- hers needed to be black -- Debbie is like her coffee.

Then, after Trish was out the door I put on my headphones & started to surf the darkened seas. I started downloading Yahoo IM & Car-girl rang the doorbell -- inaudible, with my Sonys -- so I finally heard her pounding on the door, had to explain that Trish already had a ride; Dopamax, you know. I ate a peanut butter sandwich & later a can of peas that I found in the basement.

I did the intro to Mindstorm & a query letter to send to an agent (made it truly gonzo), but was having trouble writing in the afternoon, so I put on The Wall, followed by the new Madonna. Fred showed up about 2:20, after finishing with Karen, but then became impatient when Trish didn't get off work until 3:00. Trish had been late for work because the doctor took too long to see her.

When she came home I let her put her Buffster on, then cooked some chicken for supper. She took her bath around 6:00, while I watched Thunderbirds on cable. We watched That 70's Show until bedtime, but I had to crash. I took 3 temazapam last nite; if I wake up early too often I jack the dose up slightly.

Today, I have to do some more work on my tachyon story; they dwell eternally outside the cosmos like the immortal being within us.

Trisha & the Invisible Cookie Factory

Sunday was Trish's day to bake cookies, for the people at work. We skipped Church that day, even though the cold weather wasn't much of a problem; St. Inkidink's only a block away. About 11:00 we ate at El Taco Loco & had a couple Crazy Tacos.

We've ordered 2 copies of The Mind-Warp Era; Trish's original plan was to send one to her mother & one to her father, but I pointed out, while Trish chowed down on her incredible & crazy taco, that the story includes a lot of drugz & sex, so her father might not like it. We decided instead to send it to Jerome & Kenneth. I suppose Dion would like to read it, too, but it's not "science fiction", & in the re-make/re-model I'm working to remove or render ambiguous the superficial science fiction elements which I stuck there after Scott Multi-Death complained about the lack of them. Basically, I think I got screwed by Multi-Death & Philip K. Dick just did me with UBIK.

So after she did some more chores -- I kicked back & listened to CDs -- she started the Amazing Peanut Butter Cookies. Monday we brought some in to the Layout, then went upstairs for our shots, & Scientology kills. We really need to expose the abuses of Scientology, which is comparable to the history of Nazism.

Fred gave Trish a ride to work, as Car-girl was in the Fargo of the Invisible landscape yesterday. It was damn cold, in spite of which I had to walk the extra couple blocks to Western Drug in 0 degree weather to pick up our prescriptions. Then when I got home, I plugged in Trish's car -- or at least tried to: the cord needed an adaptor for converting 3 prong to 2, so I ran over to the Invisible Hardware Store to pick one up. Then, when I got home, the cord wouldn't reach, so I had to buy an extension cord.

After that, when the haldol kicked in (cuz I'm better off than dead) I didn't feel like typewriter torment, so I watched the Doors. About 1/2-way thru, though, I (finally) decided to put our medicine away -- they'd given me the wrong package, so I ran back over to the Invisible drugstore & swapped them out.

Then Fred brought my beautiful Bumblebee Girl home. She put on some dry clothes, then started watching music videos with me. I started the chicken-fried steak about 5, & made some over-dry potatoes & brussel sprouts, which Trish likes to eat with mayonnaise. I took my bath immediately afterward, then we did some dishes & laundry, allowing time for the hot water heater to recover from its loss.

Today will be a Car-girl TA day. I'm not certain if I'm going to the Layout today, at least not unless I can avoid it: I can't deal with the aggravation, or Clean Noncorean shouting, "Magoo" constantly, even though I think it's good for the guy to at least be flirting.

This morning, I received a note from Jim Baen's universe saying "Fragile Eggshell Mind" wasn't what they wanted, but I'm "on the right track". I guess QA will go there when Ted & I finish the re-make/re-model. In the meantime, I've sent the story on to a different market, one which also accepts e-subs.

Toros in the atmosphere

It's been cold the last couple days, & it only cost $1,500 to hire Sparky Pulastri. Ed & Denise are finally back from their trip to Australia. I invited them out for pizza, cuzza Trish's new job, but Ed said that it's much too cold to go anywhere -- & tomorrow we need to get the haldol in our blood so we can be better off than dead, & piss on I Ron Steele whose sci-fi burns your brain.

Steele just makes me mad, just like that bozo who complained, "I couldn't for the life of me figure out why someone would actually be excited about going out with a manic just out of the hospital, until I figured out that the character was messed up himself". This clown I complained to ye olde Critter Cap'n about; Steele I simply told never to read my writing again. Reminds me of the entry in my guest book by the Citizen's Committee for Human Rights -- a Scientology front. Cruise, Tom, Cruise. Scientology is more "fraudulent" than any of the meds used to treat mental illness; & what is the alternative? Warehousing people indefinitely? Giving them useless "alternative therapies" like herbs? Piss on the skinny dog, for that matter.

At least I'm 99% finished with Mindstorm. All that's left is "Introduction & Introversion", in which I explain/complain about how the original became so badly mangled after Scott Multi-Death read it. I still think it'd make a good comic book, as would the Invisible Hog. But for now I am returning my attention to running short stories thru Critters.

I've started one about tachyon-critters, but for the rest of this morning (until the mighty Insect Slayer wakes) I'll be working once more on "Astronomy Domine", which also obtained a couple stupid-bozo reviews at Critters, especially from the guy who claimed to have numerous advanced degrees & then told me to "take one [past, present, or future] & run with it," when this in fact would've left me without a story -- the premise is that there's a parallel universe where abandoned scientific theories are true. Once I'm more well known, I'll complete the novel I started with that theme, The Celebration of the Lizard. The Noc-Lar also employs this idea, so I'll finally be able to use some of my background in the history of science. If it wasn't about "acid" it would've sold already. I miss the daze of Nicotine Tim; it was just like Sister Ray said.

Trish is baking peanut butter cookies this afternoon, for the people at work. She really loves her new job. + it gets her out of this house (in this cold weather who wannabe?) so I have a couple hours to torment my typewriter or play with my Sana-ponic keyboard.

I'm becoming sick of going down to the Layout cuz Clean Noncorean has everybody playing Exasperation, & it leaves nothing for me to do, other than waste a perfectly good chunk of typewriter-torment-time for the sake of a non-balanced (usually) meal.

Were it not for the spike into my veins on Monday, I'd stay home... because of the Toros in the atmosphere.

Car-girl pizza

Even though she has her license, Vickie & Karen don't want the mighty Insect Slayer (whose current incarnation is Bumblebee Girl) driving on the ice/snow, at least not until she's had some more lessons from Trisha. Thus it is that Car-girl had to give Trish a ride home from McPizza yesterday, though I had to call her & remind her: side-effects.

Mostly I wrote a letter to Hope, then ate at El Taco Loco. I came home & made it thru 1/2 of Ch.18 of Mindstorm, but then came to a spot where I'd experimented with turning some bad old material into an actual comic book script; fear & loathing in the rollicking Rootboy. Once I'm done, this stuff goes to an agent.

I'm also concerned with licensing the Slime-thing character to the cosmicomics, which in spite of Martyr Press saying it has "extreme commercial potential, in comic book form," Dave & Karen both turned their noses in the air at it; no, the skinny dog's going to make a comic about the dead dumb fat dog. I think the real reason she turned us down is that she's only an amateur artist, with no hope of ever becoming professional. I wish those 2 had never met.